my inner egg thoughts officially signing off for the next three weeks STOP finals STOP you understand END TRANSMISSION

deadline...

i have to write a poem by saturday. what should i write about?

"A poem should not mean, but be"
but what does THAT then mean to me?
its existence waits on
whose creativity?

hyuck hyuck.

kate, if you're reading this, i had a great time this weekend! i'm so glad you're my sister.

sometimes i am overwhelmed by the fear that i am incredibly boring and no one wants to listen to me.

Apologies

Wow. I am such a whiner. Here I am, practically being paid by the government to get a college education, when people in the countryside of my province are lucky to get past third grade. I live in a country where I can get any job I'm capable of doing, where I have so much food at my disposal that my health is actually in danger, where health care is at least enough to save my life if I needed it (although as far as prevention goes, I'm on my own...). In the summer I get air-conditioning, in the winter, heat. Instead of owning two sets of clothing and a pair of shoes like most Chinese farmers, I have a closet full and the disposable income to buy more before they even wear out, solely because I want to look different. I have a computer and access to all the information that implies. I am free to express my opinion (for the most part). I am free to worship. And I sit here complaining about the emptiness of my life! For shame, Anna!

enjoyment

late yesterday afternoon i went with a couple of friends to a lake near where we live. there were three sailboats out on the water, and as the wind changed the sails turned and caught the light of the setting sun, glowing like shards of moon against the trees. the evening breeze was perfect, cool and light. we lay on the dock, and at one point a hawk that had been fishing over the lake came and hovered above us - curious, i guess. we talked for a while. i took too many pictures. it was really nice, and i realized how seldom one is allowed those little calming breaths of free time. at least in the states, anyway. i wish i lived in a place where enjoyment was common... where instead of being something to earn by doing one's quota of distasteful things first (school, work), it was a way of living. maybe it's all in my head, maybe enjoyment is a mind set, but sometimes it's just not possible... am i supposed to enjoy my 8:30 lab every friday morning? or am i supposed to enjoy spending hours doing math assignments that i only have to turn in 50% of the time? all that i do right now seems so empty of meaning... school is just empty learning at this point. i'm having trouble remembering why i'm still here... what's at the end of the rainbow again? oh yeah. when i finally finish, i get to join the work force and spend the rest of my life "making ends meet." sounds like a dream.

am-bushed.

we are that much closer to the end of the world as we know it. bush is winning! argh!

quote heard from a 92-year-old voter, deadpan, when asked if voting for bush: "I'd rather vote for a gorilla."

'Patriotism is supporting your country all of the time and the government when it deserves it.'
- Mark Twain