The Return

Dear Friends,

--------I have been wanting to write you all for a while – I’ve been home in Kunming for over a month now – but I wasn’t sure what to say. A brief timeline of my actions these past six months is as follows:

- Stayed at South African School of Ministry for about two weeks
- Drove three days to our destination in Mozambique, a place called Maforga
- Lived in Maforga for three months at a boys’ home
- Helped start a feeding program for thirty village children in July
- Moved to a small town called Gondola in August, closer to the villages
- Drove back to South Africa and flew home in late November

--------As for mentally? Emotionally? Spiritually? I know at least that I’m a changed person. At the school of ministry I had a very difficult time. It was like spiritual boot-camp for me, actually. I often felt angry because I saw friends around me, Tracy and other warriors of the faith, deeply experiencing the presence of God, while I felt forgotten by Him. How foolish of me, I know. But those couple of weeks were ultimately good for me, because I was able to rely on God with more faith, to believe He loved and valued me as much as anyone else, no matter what I was feeling. In the end I was able to believe once again in His closeness.
--------Of course, that was only the beginning of the struggle. I went to Moz and had other problems. I found myself working almost exclusively with children – the boys at the boys’ home, five orphan toddlers who lived across the street, the children in the feeding program out in the village – and felt completely overwhelmed. I had prayed that God would show me His heart for the people there, and He did. I began to get a sense of the infinite value of those children – their personalities, their talents, their potential. And it almost broke my heart. There was so much need and so much they deserved to have, and what I could give them was not nearly enough, would never be enough.

--------Don’t worry, there’s a happy ending. Or, a joyful one, I should say (there’s a difference). I read Mark 14, the story of when Mary anointed Jesus’ feet. The disciples were annoyed at the waste of the expensive perfume and started to criticize her, but Jesus said to leave her alone. “She has done a beautiful thing to me,” He said. “She did what she could.” I was so struck by that sentence. Jesus doesn’t see our projects as “big,” or “small,” or “useful,” in the way the world does. He wants our eyes on His face, our motivation to please Him, and for us to do what we can. It was such a relief to have my idea of “usefulness” corrected like that.
--------So here’s what I did in Mozambique: I helped start a feeding and nutrition program for thirty kids in a village called Canhunda, and then ran it for three more months after the other two girls I was working with went back to school at the end of the summer. I participated in bush clinics (with short-term teams from Canada, England and the States) where often over a hundred people were treated in a day (our record was 309).
--------I also read bedtime stories to and played soccer with and put band aids on cuts for some orphan boys. I took some toddlers on their daily walks. I sang songs and danced with village children. I prayed for lots of people (and got prayed for by lots of people). Honestly, the walks with the babies were my favorite thing. And while God taught me about their value, He also taught me about my own.
--------So thank you all so much for your support. I know many people were praying for me – as proof of that, let me tell you that in six months I never got malaria, intestinal problems or painful insect bites, and never got closer than fifteen meters to a snake. What I did do was love some babies, make some friends, and grow stronger in my relationship with God. And it was with your help that I was able to do it. Here’s a Mozambican feather for you, and a few verses from Matthew:

--------Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?... Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. (Matt 6:26, 10:29-31)

--------As I said my difficult good-byes in Mozambique, I knew that God sees the true value of those children and will continue to care for them long after I have gone. May this new year bring you, also, a greater awareness of how much he loves and values you. God bless you all.
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Love,

anna