enjoyment

late yesterday afternoon i went with a couple of friends to a lake near where we live. there were three sailboats out on the water, and as the wind changed the sails turned and caught the light of the setting sun, glowing like shards of moon against the trees. the evening breeze was perfect, cool and light. we lay on the dock, and at one point a hawk that had been fishing over the lake came and hovered above us - curious, i guess. we talked for a while. i took too many pictures. it was really nice, and i realized how seldom one is allowed those little calming breaths of free time. at least in the states, anyway. i wish i lived in a place where enjoyment was common... where instead of being something to earn by doing one's quota of distasteful things first (school, work), it was a way of living. maybe it's all in my head, maybe enjoyment is a mind set, but sometimes it's just not possible... am i supposed to enjoy my 8:30 lab every friday morning? or am i supposed to enjoy spending hours doing math assignments that i only have to turn in 50% of the time? all that i do right now seems so empty of meaning... school is just empty learning at this point. i'm having trouble remembering why i'm still here... what's at the end of the rainbow again? oh yeah. when i finally finish, i get to join the work force and spend the rest of my life "making ends meet." sounds like a dream.